Weirdest Things People Googled To Get To Our Website, Volume 1


And I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For.

Like any good nerds, we sometimes take a look at our analytics to see what keywords people are using to get to our website. And for the first six months of the Clam’s existence, someone, somewhere, has googled the following keywords to get to us. Yeah. I don’t even know.

“custom zombie superman”

“enduring Gloucester”

“clam hummer”

“where to live in gloucester virginia with no snakes”


“we talk about ourselves all the time”

“fucking turnament”

“market basket stripper”

“i am in the midst of strangers”

“18 years and all i got is this fucking shirt”

“photo of 73 to 77 chevy camaro”

“who is kt toomey” (Kinda creepy unless I did it while drunk.)

“who is kt toomey ‘the clam'” (FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK STAAAHP)

“thresher sharks the veal chop of the sea”

“unrepentant hipster”

” ‘chester h. grant’ “

“getting f****ed on afish boat” (I am worried for this person.)

“girls who f**k for money in gloucester” (WHAT.)

“electric chair”

“picture of grandma smoking at casino”

“how to get a drone out of a tree”

“bloggers my kin folks and their house cater ruin my thanksgiving”

“tumblr wet clam”

“maslow’s hierarchy of turkey”

“i have no pumpkin spices..what to do?”

“shitting” (3 results i’m seriously serious.)

“she’s shitting pants” (is it sung to the tune of “She’s Leaving Home?)

“shitting her jeans” (WHY IS THIS HAPPENING)

 So there you go. Ta-da. I think after compiling this list, it really leaves me with more questions than answers. Like, what the fuck is up with shitting? And Tumblr Wet Clam.

You know what? Nevermind on getting the answers. I’m good.

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