A follow up to this 2014 story, because Jesus H. Christ why are we will talking about this.
On Friday morning, residents of Gloucester Massachusetts were stunned to discover large swathes of Good Harbor Beach covered in unfathomable amounts garbage left behind from the previous days visitors, despite the beach having small hand painted rocks bearing missives asking people to ‘Carry In ~ Carry out’ in place of trash barrels.
The piles of refuse, including empty bottles of terrible beer, empty chip bags, cast off footwear, cardboard boxes, partially consumed human remains, and more horrors, caught the attention of local Mary T.
“I just don’t understand! It says right there on that faded painted fish on the bridge to TAKE YOUR TRASH WITH YOU. Ohhh misery. Ohhh life! Why are humans such wretched creatures?! Why is our nature so foul that we must profane such natural beauty?! OH BUT FOR A SOLUTION TO THIS BLIGHT” she proclaimed, weaving dramatically between a pile of Twisted Tea bottles and discarded beach chairs.
When asked about the possibility of putting in place some sort of receptacle for trash, Mary replied “Are you kidding? And who’s going to pay for that, huh?” and stormed off, wading through the refuse.
One local resident, who would only give her name as Marjory, didn’t see any cause for concern. “It doesn’t bother me. What’s all the fuss about? Home is where the trash is, after all.”
Science has, in fact, created a solution to such a problem, though city residents are hesitant to embrace this new technology. Citing concerns about cost and wary about the DPW’s ability to empty them despite the existence of a fleet of trucks designed specifically to do just that, Jimmy B had this to say: “Nah, what’s the point. People are just going to throw trash in any of these ‘receptacles’ (using air quotes) and then they’ll get full. And then what, huh??”