Election Clamstravoganza! !

UPDATE: We are getting a report of a broken voting machine in 3-2 which could slow things down. This is not good news for Sefatia who really needs to drive turnout in the downtown strongholds.

Today is the day, citizens of Bivalve Nation! Have you voted? If you haven’t stop reading this and go do that now, unless you are reading this on your phone in line to vote, in which case you should just wait your turn. Got it? Good.

Voting gives you wings...or jets anyway. Plus a sack with a badass magic sword.

Voting gives you wings…or jets anyway. Plus a sack with a badass magic sword.

A few notes about the upcoming coverage of Clam the Vote 2015, Snarkformation edition:

  1. Cape Ann TV will be covering the event from City Hall live on channels  12, 20 and 67 starting at 8:00pm. They are not livestreaming on the Internet because reasons (rolls eyes). Meredith Fine will be hosting and Heidi Dallin will be reporting on results as they come in. We’re told they will be interviewing candidates, covering the action and shooting B-roll for CATV’s upcoming erotic miniseries “Dalliance on Dale Ave” coming out this Spring.
  2. Your beloved The Clam will be live-blogging starting at like 7:45 or something. We’re going to snark on the CATV feed while drinking and eating leftover Halloween candy and between the time when the results start to come in and us succumbing to a diabetic/alcohol-induced coma there should be some funny. We will also be posting results and will have a live Google spreadsheet. For the liveblog we’ll screenshot, but we’ll give a link you can jump on if you want real-time results as we get them. We tried to find a plug-in for WordPress that converted goodocs to HTML but everything looked like dogcrap so this is the best work-around. City IT superstar James Pope should be thanked heartily for helping us get the #s as they come in, BTW. Clamplause for James!
  3. Turnout: So far as we’ve heard reports, turnout has been better than usual for a local election. At post time East Gloucester Wards 1-1 and 1-2 were about 1,400 combined, last year they totaled about 2,500 out of 4k registered. The big surprise is 5-1 with 854 votes and 5-2 with 755/2367 registered before even the end-of-day push. Likely the Fonveille/Nolan race plus the Verga write-in campaign is pushing turnout there which is good. Post to the Clam Facebook page with turnout numbers if you have them and we’ll try and keep everyone updated.

Everyone should be ready for things to get weird tonight. Not just because someone could have spiked our kid’s Reeces with PCP as we know folks in East Gloucester are fond of doing, but because of the projected large number of write-ins.

Yep. PCP in the Reeces. It kicks in fast, let me tell you.

Yep. PCP in the Reeces. It kicks in fast, let me tell you.

See, the way the optical ballot scanners work is they take a picture of the ballot and look for where the marks are supposed to be. If there are write-ins, the ballot is “rejected” for hand counting. Because Clam-endorsed Candidate Greg Verga is running as a write-in, there will be a lot of ballots rejected in every ward because he’s running at-large.

So what? Well, what if the races are close? We’ll know the number of rejected ballots but if, say, one candidate has 3k votes and another has 2k votes and there are 1,200 write-ins to be counted, then who won? We won’t know until those ballots are hand counted and certified just like in the old days when they would tally via bloodmarks from a sacrificial ox on the wall of the temple (Gloucester gave up that system in favor of optical scanners in the mid-90’s). Pro tip to Meridith: wear comfortable shoes and get ready to talk a lot about how great the City Hall restoration turned out, beginning with the history of Second Empire influenced Victorian structures. It could be a long night.

Just tryin' to help Meredith

Just tryin’ to help Meredith

So there goes. We look forward to seeing everyone tonight, thanks for all the nice posts and comments we didn’t have to delete because obvious crazyperson. Let’s make sure this whole thing is handled with a generalized sense of decorum of which in all honesty we as a city are not particularly  known for. But it’s a skill we should cultivate for certain occasions such as this such as funerals or being arraigned.

Could come in handy.

Clam The Vote: Our Election Rundown Special Extravaganza To The Death!


We really didn’t want to do this, but folks asked. They literally begged us to give our picks for the races in Gloucester. Ok, sure. Be warned that aside from mayor (where we’re not endorsing, you can’t make us) we found we’re not too far off the Gloucester Daily Times which was a shock. We’re still drinking to deal with this revelation. There are some differences and we lay our our reasoning as best we can. If you want to vote like the Clam, do read on.

The top of the ticket:

Mayor: No. Just no. Hell no. We’re not making a call because members of the Clam inner circle are deeply conflicted here. So, if you haven’t been exposed to the two leading candidates strengths and weaknesses up to this point then congratulations for coming out of your coma, we have a black president now. We recommend you flip a coin. The rest of you have already made up your mind based on the available evidence. Go with that.

Councilor At Large: (you pick four)

The Clam recommends:

Paul Lundberg: A sane, level-headed dude with decades of operational experience and has been on the council for years. Sadly, medical science still prevents the rest of our at-large recommendations from reading: Paul Lundberg Clone #1, Paul Lundberg Clone #2, Paul Lundberg Clone #3 so we have to make more. Fuck.

Joe Ciolino: He’s spent years on the council. Without McGeary, Sefatia or Verga (we’ll get to him in a second) on the council we’ll need experience, bad. I know someone once said, “Amateurs built the Ark, experts built the Titanic,” but of course that is crazy bullshit because the Ark is fictional (and impossible). We need folks who know how it works. Joe does. Full stop.

Clamflict: We can’t agree on one of the two following candidates. So choose between:

Amy-Beth Healey: Has been on the School Committee. Sane person. Heavily involved in schools. Knows budgets. Recommended by the GDT.

or

Joe Giacalone: We’ve heard good things. Ann Margaret Ferrante endorsed him, other people we know and respect have talked to him and said they liked him. A downtown resident.

Our last pick (but remember, you only get four)

Greg Verga: Write him in. We admit to being bummed he got so cozy with the hard-rightwing crowd during the mayor’s race, but he’s a solid choice for at-large council. Has been on for years, makes good choices. We’re writing him in.

Ok, so those are are ‘yes’ votes. What about the rest? Here are our thoughts:

OHARA: The man without an apostrophe. His signs just showed up everywhere one day, sometimes one on each end of a lot (the record so far is THREE ON ONE PROPERTY). We’ve heard some folks describe him as a “liberal activist” but when he came to our house and handed out his campaign literature we saw it had a Patriots’ game schedule on the back and not a single mention of education or the schools on the other.  He’s really, really into fire stations and police, and went on to describe in uncomfortably vivid detail the threats he believes we’re under, which in some cases seemed overblown. When we asked where here was going to find all the money he wanted to spend on public safety he said, “consolidate the schools” which is when we threw him out. The ever-touted, never quantified imaginary financial panacea of “consolidating the elementary schools” wold actually require over 100 million in bonds which we’d have to override for, and for all that we would not save much money (It’s the teachers that cost, not the buildings nor really administration at the per-school level). Also, it would take something like a decade to get it done and in the process we’d dramatically change the character of our neighborhoods. Also it goes against all available research on improving educational outcomes, would lower home values across the city and create a transportation nightmare. Did you think about any of that? Sorry dude, no vote for you.

Joe Orlando Jr: Scion of the Orlando family who’ve been pushing so hard to turn Gloucester into a Republican paradise like Kansas or Arkansas. We’ve met him, he’s a nice guy in person but online he’s been burning every bridge he can find which might not be so great a campaign strategy. For instance, he was arguing about something (fluoridation we’re pretty sure) on Facebook and the young Mr. Orlando decided to claim liberals “kill babies.” This may be his view, but the majority of people in the Commonwealth of Massachusetts are pro-choice, including our Republican governor who this candidate touts the endorsement of. Wonder if he calls Baker a “babykiller”? This is Massachusetts Joe, you’re not going to be able to govern well if you can’t work with Democrats, there are a lot of them here. 

Bob Whynott Jr: Son of long-time Councilman Bob Whynott Sr. The younger Whynott, who previously lost an Orlando-backed campaign for the Republican nomination to challenge state representative Ann Margaret Ferrante, is deploying the highly efficient strategy of using his father’s campaign collateral. He has the same signs and the same campaign address. How is he different than his father? Hell if we know.

Ken Sarofeen: Um, no.

The Wards (you only get to pick one, duh)

Ward 1 “The Shire” East Gloucester  

Scott Memhard: Owner of Cape Pond Ice, has been on the Sawyer Free Library board for many years. A competent executive at a legacy business dealing directly with the core issue facing our city: What the fuck do we do with our waterfront? He’s got our vote.

Everett Brown: Also a good guy, he was on the council for many years. We hear he’s competent and knows his stuff. You can’t go wrong with either choice in Ward 1, pretty much.

Ward 2 “Glostopolis” The Eastern part of downtown

Congratulations Melissa Cox, for running unopposed in Ward 2!  She’s experienced and dressed as a shark for the outdoor showing of Jaws on I4C2 last year. We need more counselors down to cosplay, is what we’re saying. She helped us Clammers get bike lanes put in, and at least TRIED to deal with the shitshow parking nightmare of lower Prospect Street over the elder Whynott’s insistence that churchgoers having easy parking is more important than emergency vehicles being able to safely pass on one of our busiest thoroughfares.

Ward 3 “The Golden Triangle” (Stagefort up to the hospital and most of downtown biz district)

Steve LeBlanc: Up for re-election. Many years working for and with the city. Again, knows what he’s doing. We need experience and he’s got it.

Sherri Curcuru: She’s into elementary school consolidation, so no.

Ward 4 “The Highlands” (everything from the hospital north and all that stuff around the Middle School, Lanesville).

Val Gilman: The obvious pick. Val’s been on the School Committee for years, knows everybody in town and is a dedicated getter done-er of things. Oh, and her opponent’s handler’s attempt to pin the Fuller bullshit on her? Don’t even start. We’ve reported extensively on this- the school committee and council made the best choices they could at the time given the lose-lose- really-fucking-lose situation the math indicated for all courses of action with that property. Val is the obvious choice.

Kathryn Goodick:  No. See here and here and here and a lot of other places we didn’t even bother to report because we just got sick of dumping on her. But really, no.  

Ward 5 “The Frontier” West Gloucester and Magnolia

Bill Fonville: Clam’s choice. Again, has been on the council for years, knows his stuff and is a competent incumbent. He’s a data guy and knows how to make decisions using information from the outside world. He has a huge community presence, and was the only one to vote against the debt shift that made Ms. Goodick from ward 4 so apoplectic.

Sean Nolan: We took some heat for associating him with the Orlando-backed Gloucester GOP whom we are now told he’s not cozy with. Excuse us, we were confused by him being on the front-page of their website for a while. We’re stupid like that. But if he’s within their circle or influence or not, he hasn’t voted in a municipal election for the last three rounds. Sorry, you don’t run for a local election when you don’t participate in local elections. We have heard a lot of positives about his community involvement, and think he would be good on some lower committees and would appreciate him running again when he has more experience with our local government and how it works (example: voting).

School Committee: (you pick six)

Jonathan Pope: Head of the school committee and totally knows his shit. For all the insane misinformation people have about the schools, he’s a solid part of the reason our MCAS scores continue to go up in spite of it all. If performance is your metric, the schools are demonstrably improving and thus he deserves your vote.

Kathy Clancy: The same goes for Kathy. She’s at everything, has incredible passion, a competent executive from the outside world. We’re lucky to have her on the school committee. A vote for her is a solid.

Tony Gross: Another person who’s been part of everything for years. Led the budget sub-committee, negotiated contracts which is hard as balls. Hired a new superintendent. Vote for him. He’s good.

Michelle Sweet: All the right calls: Understood the Fuller fiasco for what it was, believes in neighborhood schools, understands where the real problems are. She’ll get our vote.

Melissa Teixeira: We would say ditto for Melissa- totally gets what the eff is going on. Didn’t buy into the Fuller hype when everyone said it should still be used as a school and the math/data/reports/sane evaluations said otherwise. She’ll also get our vote.

Joel Favazza: Will be getting our vote. Joel is young, has two teens in the system, and is at fucking everything. He built 3D printers alongside us (his team actually kicked our ass). He coached our daughter’s soccer team. We see him at plays, concerts and meetings. Smart guy. He’s clarified some of the positions he’s taken in the paper to our satisfaction, so yes. We’re voting for him.

JD MacEachern: The other guy not currently on the school committee looking for a seat. To be honest, this is the candidate we literally know the least about. Our research shows he has all the correct answers on things Fuller, funding, elementary schools and technology in the schools. But since we choose to keep the existing incumbents who have been effective (see scores, MCAS) we thus have to pick between Mr. MacEachern whom we don’t know and the guy we think will be a good add (Joel, above).

Non Binding Referendum, oh sweet Crom is this not over yet?

Fluoride: Allow us to make one thing clear: We’re going to make a recommendation to vote pro-fluoridation because science. Anti-fluoride activists: do not post/email/text/comment/knock on our doors/stop us on the street about this issue because anti-fluoride activists- you are sorta nutty.  Advice: you should take a look at how you present yourselves because right now you totally give off the chemtrail/9/11 conspiracy/anti-vax vibe. We at The Clam are full-on science dweebs and stronlgy believe in peer-reviewed studies and stuff, we work with scientists and engineers, we make our pay in STEM. Do us both a favor and don’t approach us, you’re not going to change our minds and we’ll just wind up making fun of you on the Internet. The ONLY good argument we’ve heard about anti-fluoride is a friend who has problems with his tropical fishtank attributed to fluoride. On balance, we can’t say this is on par with the family who has a 3K dentist bill they can’t afford because no insurance in the US covers dental anymore. Also: we really should not be deciding this in a referendum, that’s not how science and public health should be done.

There you go. Print this out for handy reference and do your own research so you hahahaha just kidding. You people are just going to pick the names that are most associated with your ethnicity, don’t try and fool us. We’ve seen the stats.

On to tomorrow. This can’t be over soon enough for us.

Jack-Donaghy-Pouring-Alcohol-Loop-30-Rock

Correction: An earlier version of this post claimed Joe Orlando Jr. used the term “babykillers” to describe liberals pro-choice position in regard to medical choices (the discussion was about fluoridation). His exact phrase was: “Don’t you liberals call that being ‘pro-choice?’ Or is that only applying to medical decisions that kill babies?”  The sentence was corrected.

The Clam Email Mayoral Debate

Greetings citizens of planet Clam. Thanks for following our coverage of Gloucester’s local election “Clam the Vote 2015.” Are we sick of this? Yes, we are sick of it. So let’s take a break from the oh-so-hard math and turn to the very pleasant email debate we conducted with our two mayoral candidates, Acing Mayor Sefatia Romeo Theken and City Council President Paul McGeary. [NOTE: THIS IS NOT SATIRE. WE ACTUALLY DID THIS AND THEY REALLY RESPONDED.]

The_Mayor_KH

We sent them each a list of questions to answer. “How is this a debate? ” you ask? We happen to think answering questions by email is a good deal more in line with how leadership gets done these days than being questioned in front of a live audience. 90% of any managerial job is conducted via email. The rest is a combination of arranging the Secret Santa partners/March Madness grid and solving disputes about stolen yogurt in the company fridge.

So let’s get to it! The questions were selected by members of Team Clam and denizens of The Clam Secret Underground Lair. We left out the really weird ones (For instance: there will be no hypotheticals around which of Lovecraft’s Elder Gods they would least like to see rising out of the Harbor). And be reminded both candidates know we’re primarily a humor blog -they are both funny people- so we asked them to answer in the spirit of the Clam, which they did. Huzzah.

1. What do you most envy about the other person?

Sefatia: I’m lucky enough to have worked with Paul for years now and though we are competitors now, I’m looking forward to post-election and continuing our progress, which we both have worked tirelessly on. I’m probably most envious of his last name, as “McGeary” is a lot easier to say and write than “Sefatia Romeo-Theken Giambanco.”

Paul: Incumbency

2. Of all the things that keep you up late at night about Gloucester, which one concerns you the most?

Paul: Infrastructure. We have been playing catchup for years, but there is a lot left to do. Water and sewer still need work. Our road maintenance as currently funded can’t keep up with New England winters. Our schools are rapidly aging. We need new fire and police facilities. We could be hit with a secondary sewage treatment requirement by the EPA. How do we begin to address what could be $200 million or more in capital spending? It will take a disciplined, thoughtful approach: setting priorities and sticking to them, even when the needs of the moment seem overwhelming. This isn’t a two- or five-year program It’s 20 or 30 years’ duration, but we must begin.

Sefatia: I take inspiration from people and find quotes to keep motivated, but Pope John Paul II said: “A society will be judged on the basis of how it treats its weakest members and the most vulnerable.” It’s been my life’s work to help people, especially when they are weak and vulnerable because finding solutions and having a heart for those in need is my true joy. I worry for all, but take special care to address the concerns of our children, our seniors, our veterans and our vulnerable. While somewhat broad, vulnerable includes those that are hungry, those that are homeless, and those that are addicted – all of which need help that we can rally support for and get if we work together. I’m worried that we forget about those needing help the most when we talk about numbers and figures instead of quality of life and how to best help.
3.Please name three businesses/services you don’t currently have but you think would be great to have on Main Street.

Sefatia:

  1. Common Crow-esque or Whole Foods type of Local Grocery Store
  2. Parking Garage / Shuttle Service / Bike Rental Service
  3. Drop-In Community Center / Pop-up Gov’t & Non-Profit Services Support (ie one month could be a cultural museum extension, another month could be voter registration, another month could volunteer food drive support, etc.)
  4. My fantasy pick is to have The Godmother’s Kitchen, but that’s not realistic (just yet).

Paul:

  1. A local “Eastern Mountain Sports” or REI-type shop that would cater to locals and eco-tourism, something that we haven’t begun to capitalize on.
  2. Stores, gathering places or venues where people living downtown can run their errands, do light shopping and socialize without  having to use a car.
  3. A “TKTS”-like kiosk that would sell admissions to and promote attractions and events throughout the city in a single location.

4. Assuming we will not see a strong return of the ground-fishing industry for many years if at all, what businesses/industries really require the kinds of industrial waterside access Gloucester provides? [example- many folks cite “marine research” but lab facilities can easily be built a short distance away from the water in more modern structures for far less money].

Paul: I would hope that “blue economy” companies (marine biology, marine technology, robotics, tidal energy etc.) would be on the harbor to the extent that they need to be. Their presence on the harbor doesn’t have to be huge. What I envision is that companies will occupy only so much of the waterfront as they need for launching or retrieval of vessels and equipment or house machinery or processes that need direct access to the water. I would hope that, as those companies grow, their “back shop” operations could expand into our industrial parks, saving the harborfront for those businesses that actually need water access.

Sefatia: I’m known as a tireless advocate of the fishing industry and want to harness the potential of our waterfront with appropriate development. I don’t think there is a singular business or industry that can be the secret recipe for success; instead, I believe we have to look at case studies of how other communities empowered growth effectively. Thankfully, we have plenty to look at in close proximity including Salem, Beverly and even Boston. But I do know that my work this year on returning to various seafood expos, alliances with international fishing ambassadors and legislation earned from our state and federal leaders are sowing the seeds for a blossoming economic return. So the good news is that we have righted the ship, but we have to navigate past some murky waters of indecisiveness to charter our path toward a new frontier. I want to work with a larger crew, including tourism, arts, marine industries, restaurants, and Gloucester leaders to provide feedback to our economic specialists so that the expectations can be realistic and so that we can provide jobs that return today and in the future, too. But remember, nothing we do will succeed unless we work with the fishing industry and the fisherman are directly involved with this process, because they do actually want to innovate but they are looking for their leader and to have their input appreciated, too.

5. The combination of expensive housing stock and a tepid job market has made Gloucester a challenge for citizens of moderate income, especially younger ones looking to start families and buy homes. What can be done to address this and why should younger people in particular choose Gloucester as a place to live?

Sefatia: Gloucester has always been a great place to live, but we don’t celebrate our history and offerings enough. We need to expand awareness through dedicated outreach services, both from a consumer / citizen and business angle. People may come to see our beaches in the summer, but we have to showcase our community spirit all year long and keep them coming back for more – whether that’s theater, food, parks, festival events, or museums, we have to first take pride in our community. But to welcome our youth here, we need better commuter options, including increased train services, expanded harbor shuttle locations, and beach parking shuttle services with expanded mobile payment offerings. While we aren’t there yet, I also want more research around better Internet / Tele-Communication offerings that are more affordable and more available, too. Lastly, encouraging the entrepreneurial spirit – as seen at The Hive – or expanding educational services – like we see at Endicott College – help enable young people’s future options while investing in our community locally.

Paul: I would like to revamp our zoning ordinance to allow more clustered housing on smaller lots—particularly in-town and near public transportation, where such housing already exists. I would also like to look at allowing some single-family homes to be subdivided to create accessory apartments. This serves two purposes:

  • It ups our housing options by increasing the number of rental units.
  • It provides “empty nesters” on fixed incomes with an additional source of money that would help them stay in their homes.

In the long run, however, the real key is bringing new commercial and industrial enterprises to town. Jobs are the basis of all prosperity. Where there is work, housing will be created. Gloucester has a 400-year history as a working town. If we are to not only survive but prosper we must keep true to that heritage.

Bonus Question: Which Beatle do you most identify with and why?

Paul: Ringo. No question. I recall that once in 1964 or so he was asked what he hoped would come of his being part of the band. He said something like he hoped the Beatles thing lasted long enough that he could put enough money aside to be able to open up a beauty salon somewhere. I’m not quite sure why, but that appeals to me.

tumblr_mkbv4qYXay1royub7o1_1280

Sefatia: Oh boy, generations of Americans have battled over this subject! I feel like friendships can be lost arguing their favorite. I would typically pick Paul because he’s been relevant since his career started. Plus, I once heard Paul attempt to speak Italian and appreciated his global appeal. But, I’m going with the “dreamer” John Lennon because he inspired people to help change the world through his artistic works. I still listen to “Imagine” and think about helping all the people and living as one… it’s a brilliant motivational piece.

John-Lennon

[end]

Thanks again and best of luck to both candidates! –Clam

It’s not about Kathryn, We Just Don’t Want A Tea Party.

Here’s the thing about our taking Ward 4 city council candidate Kathryn Goodick to task on some incorrect math she based her campaign on, doubled down on with conflicting statements, and then insisted was a “personal attack” when we asked her for clarification: there have been no personal attacks. She messed up the math, because she admitted she hadn’t been paying attention to municipal elections and goings-on until it impacted her directly. She used that bad math to knock on doors across her ward and tell a story about skyrocketing taxes that wasn’t truthful. And she doesn’t understand why that’s not okay. Real_Math

Pointing out the harmfulness of using faulty, misleading math to prop up your candidacy is not a personal attack, and won’t ever be. Calling a candidate out for something that is proven false is the entirety of politics. Full stop. If Mrs. Goodick had said “I may have misunderstood and I apologize,” we wouldn’t be where we are. But she didn’t, won’t, and has referred to us as liars and worse, despite careful calculations from local municipal tax assessors, accountants, lawyers, and more on our end. We’ve asked their camp to point out where our lies are, with factual documentation and we have received no such documentation. So we’re done there.

But it’s not about just Kathryn Goodick’s candidacy. The tax issue with her is the symptom, not the illness. 

It’s about the pervasiveness of the tea-party right wing, howling for massive change, without understanding exactly the impact of that change, and without a solid plan to deal with any of it.

Here's Ronald Reagan riding a velociraptor into battle for America. You're welcome.

Here’s Ronald Reagan riding a velociraptor into battle.

Here’s the rub that most people, who only have inclination to barely delve into our local politics, don’t necessarily understand off the bat: There’s a select group of very right wing radicals in Gloucester who have decided to run for council at the prodding of their radical friends and the local “Gloucester Citizens for Responsible Government,” some with very, very little knowledge of our city and its budget and how it runs. At least one of these folks running for council didn’t even vote in the last three municipal elections. That’s frightening to me, because no matter what ward it’s about, these things impact our future and the future of kids here.

That’s right: at least one of the folks who didn’t have the time to go to the voting booth to choose the last few rounds of elected officials now wants to be an elected official. They didn’t have time to understand their tax and water bill, but expect us to assume they’ll undoubtedly have the time to help six others run the city in their spare time. They are campaigning heavily on the positives of being outsiders, naive to the system. And while municipal elections aren’t meant to be entirely for seasoned politicians by any means, there’s a certain necessity to practicing for the test you’re going to take so you don’t flunk it when you get there. You have to understand the policies you’re voting on. 

The “idiocracy” we’ve seen on a national level with Ted Cruz, Ben Carson, and Donald Trump isn’t repeatable on a local level, nor should it be – it matches bluster and intentional, willful ignorance with a dangerous belief that cutting the budget and putting several more dollars back into the pockets of homeowners is the be-all and end-all of their candidacy.

National shenanigans like the attempted defunding Planned Parenthood don’t work in a place like this, on a local level, because we all know too many people negatively impacted by the hamfisted tax-cutting-at-all-costs policies. There is a disconnect between a politician in Washington and the constituents in his or her home state that cannot exist at a local level purely because of how communities work. So when Joe Orlando (the younger), who is running for at-large councilor, states something like:liberal or Amanda Orlando Kesterson, his sister, writes that we should arm all our teachers instead of providing universal breakfast, there isn’t a red state full of people willing to vote against their own interests to clap for it. There’s just Gloucester, a town full of hard workers who haven’t been lucky, economic downturn, and stories about making choices no one really desires to make. Both our mayoral candidates are in favor of universal healthcare, because they’re aware of how unfair life can be even to the hardest of workers.

The few candidates who seem to be propped up entirely by the local GOP (which has ideals that are far to the right of what past Republicans have stood for) have overlooked how the local government process works – showing no real knowledge of how municipal taxation is handled except they are “too high” without any sort of context, how they will handle nuanced issues such as the school budget besides “get rid of bloated administration” without any sort of context – and we could go on. But we’re tired.

The “Gloucester Citizens for Responsible Government” has, perhaps unsurprisingly, failed at providing candidates that have convinced us that they are in any way ready to be responsible in and for our government this election season.

This may come as a real shock, but we don’t like having to write these kinds of posts.  They’re depressing, we can’t swear as much, and it’s about as fun to write as eating a sleeve of saltines with no water. But, this stuff needs to be pointed out, or we risk Gloucester being run by the tea-party candidates who want to cut money out of places where it will negatively impact the services our entire community needs without these people truly understanding the repercussions down the line.

This is why we drink.

 

Ward 4 Math: Part III – NUMB3RS, Or The Magical, Mythical, Vanishing Seventeen Percent

So the linchpin to Kathryn Goodick’s entire city council campaign – its very reason for being — is her story that when she opened her property tax bill this past January, she was shocked to see that it had “gone up by seventeen percent.”

It was that shock that started her campaign first to fight, and now to join, City Hall.

That mythical “seventeen percent increase” was so hard a hit for her that, on February 24 she went right down to City Hall and testified at a City Council hearing that she had been forced to cancel her plans to remodel her kitchen because that, we now know imaginary, “17% tax increase” had walloped her family finances so thoroughly that she could not longer afford to remodel her twenty year old kitchen. (City Council Minutes, February 24, 2015)

But here’s the thing. That 17% tax increase? It never happened.

Never.

At least not in the past ten and a half years, which is as far as the city’s online tax records go.

When I pointed this out to her, her eventual explanation was simple: to deny she’d ever said it.

I had heard her wrong, she claimed. She never said her taxes had gone up 17% in one year, all she’d said was that they’d gone up 17% over the past few years.

Perhaps, she told me, “you misunderstood my message.”

What I said was my taxes increased 17% over the past few years” (words hers, my emphasis).

She’s reiterated this same story — if you’ll pardon my language — on Facebook this past Friday, October 23, where she posted (in part) “I never said my taxes went up 17% in one year.”

(See, Kathryn Goodick for Ward 4 Facebook Page)

Except that she did.

I heard her quite clearly. And so did the other people in the room with whom I’ve been in touch about this.

But you don’t have to believe any of us. Her line — “I was shocked to see that my taxes had gone up 17%, and I don’t know about you, but my income didn’t go up 17% to offset it” — is clearly part of the well rehearsed stump speach that she’s given a lot. She says that she’s knocked on over 1,500 doors in Ward 4 during this campaign, and I’m willing to bet she handed that same line to 1,499 of them.

She even says it here (link). Watch it for yourself if you like. The money quote (literally, the MONEY quote), is at about 2:07.

Or you can save two minutes of your life and just watch the much shorter clip below, where we’ve set everything she says on the 17% issue in her campaign video to music. It’s pretty much everything you need to know. Plus you can dance to it.

Missing you’ll note, just as it was when I heard her speak in person on October 16th, is the key qualifiying phrase, “over the past few years.”

Because, she didn’t say it.

The Truth is Not Irrelevant

At the same time as denying she ever made the 17% claim, Ms. Goodick also labored mightily to change the subject from whether she’d told us all a fairy tale to her insistence that taxes in Gloucester are too high in general.

Clearly,” she wrote to me, “if I misstated the numbers or you misunderstood my message, it is not really the issue.”

In other words: “whether the shocking story I tell at the beginning of all my stump speeches is completely made-up or not doesn’t matter.”

Um.

The truth IS the point.

Before we can all have a discussion about issues like taxes, property assessments or water and sewer bills, we need to establish some ground rules. And one of the first ones is no lying. Or misleading. Or dissembling.

That applies double when we’re choosing the people we want to run our city. Whatever their position on IC42 or Fuller, or the water debt, we first need to know that they’re people we can trust to speak the truth when they talk to us.

Eveyone is going to make mistakes. And when that happens, generally a simple apology and correction is really all you need to do. Here’s how easy hers could have been:

I made a mistake, I’m sorry that I misled you. My taxes didn’t go up nearly that much. I’ll be more careful about this kind of thing in the future, but I still think taxes in this town are too high.”

And done. It could have been that simple. Then we could have moved to a discussion about taxes.

But insisting that it doesn’t matter whether or not she misled Gloucester voters with an entirely bogus story in order to convince them to vote for her — that’s a problem.

Honesty is not irrelevant.

NEXT: She Changes Her Story Completely

Then when the sun came up the next morning, she changed her story completely. A stunning 180 degree reversal.

uturn

At 5:45 the next morning Ms. Goodick wrote to tell me (paraphrasing) “Hey, you know what? Forget all that stuff I wrote about how I didn’t say my taxes went up by 17% last year and how you misheard me. You didn’t mishear me, you heard me just fine. I should have said that my taxes DID go up by 17% last year.”

That 17% claim that I’d heard her say in person, that she then insisted she hadn’t said at all, had now reappeared. Magic!

Here’s what she actually wrote to me that morning:

[One] more fact for you.  My quarterly property bill for 2014 in August 2014 was $1,460.80 compared to my tax bill due on February 2015 was $1,712.93.  . . .

Let me help you with the math:  it is a difference of $252.13…or 17%!!!

She posted this same nonsense on her campaign’s Facebook page on Friday, October 23rd (but without the offer to help with the math).

. . . the fact is that my numbers substantiate that comparing two quarters in two separate years my taxes indeed went up 17%. Seriously look at what you are quivering [sic] over?!?

Oy.

At best, either she never said that her taxes went up 17% in one year, OR she did say that and she was right to say it. It can’t be both.

Here actually however, it’s neither. She did say it and she was wrong when she said it.

Failing to Understand How Gloucester Taxes Work

wiggum

So that brings us to where this mystical 17% number came from in the first place, and it’s pretty clear. She just didn’t plain understand her tax bill. Or how property taxes bills work in general.

Now in 2015 the only, repeat ONLY, reason all of our property tax bills spiked was the city’s decision to shift the cost of our sewer improvement project off of our water bills and onto our property tax bills. A dubious proposition if you ask me, but pretty much everyone in town knew about it.

That shift onto our property tax bills was put into the first two quarters of the year instead of being spread out evenly over all four quarters. Which is pretty much how it works in Massachusetts.

So her February 2015 bill was indeed 17% higher than her August 2014 bill. But then her final two quarterly tax bills of 2015 had a 0% increase, so in the end her actual property tax increase for the year was 8.6%.

Which is exactly what we’ve been saying all along.

But not what she’s been saying on the campaign trail.

What happened was: she didn’t understand her bill, and then she based her whole campaign on that misunderstanding.

There are a lot of ways to dissect this in more detail, but Jim Dowd of this very Gloucester Clam you are reading right now captured it best in the email he shot me after he first saw Ms. Goodick’s explanation for her “17% shock.”

I bought 14 gallons of gas last night on my drive home from the client meeting at $1.99/gallon (Beverly exit 19, motherfuckers!!!). It cost me $27.86. Holy shit, last week I bought 7 gallons at a total cost of $13.93! I’ve suffered a 50% increase in my gas bill!!!

IMPEACH

That about sizes it up.

The “Evidence” — A Single, Incomprehensible and Meaningless Spreadsheet

At this point, the Cape Ann GOP jumped into the fray. Amanda Kesterson, chair of the Cape Ann GOP posted this at Cape Ann Online, demanding a retraction:

The author of this misleading article from The Clam offered to retract it once Kathryn provided evidence he was wrong. She sent the evidence to him yesterday, and here it is.  We’re still waiting for the retraction, though.

https://www.facebook.com/KathrynGoodickWard4/photos/a.1466567313659517.1073741828.1466400910342824/1507571072892474/?type=3&theater

Evidence?”

Using that word in this context is making John Henry Wigmore himself roll over in his grave.

Wigmore Grave Roller

Trying to figure out Ms. Goodick’s nonsensical spreadsheet without assistance will just make your head ache, so here’s a marked up version that clarifies it all. It was sent to me by someone with an M.B.A. in Finance from UCLA. (If you’ve been following this saga from the beginning it will no doubt be familiar to you.)

WheresThe17Percent

Nothing in that cryptic and nearly incomprehensible spreadsheet says that Kathryn Goodick’s taxes went up 17%. To the contrary, it says, just like we have from the beginning, that her taxes went up 8.6% last year. And that was the most they’d ever increased.

thinkitmeans

The Water Bill Offset: Does She Not Understand the Missing Piece of the Puzzle?

Take a deep breath, we’ve almost gotten through this. But there’s still one more thing that’s really important.

It’s what economists call, and I apologize for having to use a technical term here, but it’s really the only way to accurately describe it — a “ginormous problem with your analysis you dunderhead.”

It’s this:

When the city did the big 2015 water bill/tax bill shift, the plan was to reduce everyone’s water bill in an amount that would offset the increase in everyone’s property tax. Pretty much, that’s what happened across the city.

So if you complain that you’re shocked, SHOCKED that your property tax bill went up but don’t account for the fact that at the same time your water bill went DOWN, you’re either:

  • intentionally playing fast and loose with the facts or

  • entirely clueless

    Either way you shouldn’t be managing the $100 million dollar city budget you want to get your hands on.

But because throughout her campaign Ms. Goodick has focused on only the tax increase half of equation, someone needs to shine a light on the other half.

And the esteemable Martin Del Vecchio has done this for us in his posts at Ms. Goodick’s Facebook campaign page and at Cape Ann Online this past week.

The bottom line of all Marty’s figuring though is that, just as it was supposed to, the 2015 Goodick water bill at 10 Dogtown Road did go way down. In fact it went down by enough to offset nearly the entire amount by which her property taxes went up.

Taking into account

  • all the money she saved on her water bill,

  • the 3.3% increase in the assessed value of her home between 2014 and 2015,

the net effect of the 2015 increase on Kathryn Goodick’s half million dollar home was eighty-four dollars.

Eighy-four dollars. Seven dollars a month.

And if she itemizes her deductions, she’ll get an additional $499 deduction for the increasead property taxes she paid that she wasn’t getting for paying her water bill, and that deduction will more than wipe out that $84 increase. Bottom line: she probably ends up making money.

But even if she doesn’t take that deduction, we’re still looking $84 which amounts to a net increase in her 2015 tax/water bills of not 17%, not even 8.6%, but a paltry 1.4%.

actual

Yep. Her combined tax and water bill increase for 2015 was a grand total of $84. 

Like details? Marty does. Do check out his careful work here.

Good thing for Gloucester voters that all our utility bills are available online where Marty could check them. I wonder if Karthryn Goodick knew that was possible.

Not surprisingly, I hadn’t yet gone through the water bill part of this equation when I first wrote Ms. Goodick to ask about her phantom “17% tax increase.”

But now that I have, once again, I feel a bit misled. Don’t you?

It sure looks like throughout her entire campaign, knocking on over 1,500 doors in Ward 4, she’s been overstating her tax increase by a factor of 100%, leaving out the offsetting reduction she got in her water bill, and scaring voters all over Ward 4 with a fake story of a fake tax increase.

View post on imgur.com

– – – – –

Stay Tuned. Next time: I’ll look at her claim that her children wouldn’t be able to pay the taxes on her house if she and her husband outright gave it to them. (Hint: This might be a wee bit of an exaggeration.)