Where the hell is our Clam?

“Hey, who turned out the lights? Anyone here? Knock knock…”

So, you may be wondering where Your Faithful Clam has gone. Truth is, we’re all pretty much still here but Real Life has gotten in the way of our trademark mix of snark, righteous indignation, and beautiful uses of pop culture references. So for the moment, they’ve left me – junior editor and Actual Elected Official Josh – with the keys.

Where are they right now? Well, Jim is in the middle of a massive client project that his small marketing company is managing. I saw him once, furtively wandering into a pho joint in Beverly (because Gloucester needs a good Vietnamese restaurant too, amirite). He looked haunted, as if he was on the verge of being a mammoth success and earning enough cheddar on this job to buy a brand new Subaru with ALL THE THINGS. He’s also kinda burned out from the damned Democratic primaries and is joining me on Team Cthulhu now.

KT moved (twice) and took on a new full-time job in the insurance biz. She now lives close enough to Official Clam Dirndl Wearer and Beer Goddess Brooke Welty that they’re quickly going from good friends to “it’s really maybe a little creepy at this point”. She’s working through post-divorce life and has an awesome boyfriend. She’s sick of the primaries too.

As for the rest of the Clamtributors? Adam headed off to Greenland in the hopes of experiencing an actual winter before climate change turns New England into Morocco. Len went to work for me in real life and had his creativity stifled. Anna is moving up to one of the identical cake decorating war shows, seeing what spunk and attitude can do to make a MB sheet cake spectacular. Jeremy was unable to be elected President in Massachusetts and has resumed warping the minds of America’s youth. And Steven has begun a retail business to see if every product can be sold with a 17% markup. Because we really like that arbitrary number here at The Clam, and it works so well for taxes.

Me? I’m just busy trying to keep the lights on here for the moment. We do have some terrific content coming up in the coming weeks, just not as fast as we’d all like to. Greatness takes time, y’all.

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  1. Dude I wish I was going on a reality show. Who wants to be my Amazing Race team mate.

  2. I was listening to a Dana Gould podcast recently (recommended highly), and in the midst of conversation he started talking about Buddhism and the impermanence of all things…a real show-stopper. If the Clam goes away, it’s been a run of some serious pleasure on my part. I hope it comes back, but if it doesn’t I’m sure all the components (people) will go on to enrich the world in a new way.

    But still totally want the Clam back.

  3. Glad to see Evidence of Life and, hey, it’s not like y’all didn’t warn us. Please do not take this as acceptance of a Clam-free existence. We want you, we need you, we lo-o-o-o-ove you.

  4. Despite being subscribed to Clam post notifications on FB, I have still found myself compulsively checking this website on numerous occasions, just to make sure I didn’t miss something. Really missing your commentary, Clam…this election season has been brutal, and we need some hope, or at least some humor to ease the pain. Come back, come back!!

  5. We need to be reassured that “Clam got legs!”

  6. Yippeeeee!!! Someone is alive in there!!!

  7. You left us with some good content so I just reread the old stuff

  8. Eric Bergengren

    Thanks for the update, Josh. I’m among those who’ve been checking daily.

    Loyal reader and actual employee of your fair City.

  9. Before moving to Gloucester, I discovered this blog and found myself laughing hysterically, especially at the “Best of” posts (in particular “9 Things…” and “5 Things It’s Socially Acceptable…”). I can attest that, having only lived here for 8 days, I’ve witnessed or experienced every single thing in the “5 Things…” post. At first I thought, surely these things listed can’t happen that often. Nope. I was wrong. How naive of me.

    I’ve found I already like it here though, idiosyncracies and all. Except the high school kids looping around the city, honking their horns at 6:30 AM because it’s their last day of school. I truly thought the apocalypse had struck or that something happened to the Blynman Canal bridge.

    And everyone here has a dog or five. It seems to be a very dog-friendly place, which is awesome, minus stepping in dog sh*t (on the sidewalk) on my morning run.

    Cheers to an update to the blog. Long live the Clam!

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