Details Released About Upcoming Film Manchester By the Sea!


All over town you see the trucks and setups for the filming of “Manchester By the Sea,” a movie about the eponymous town apparently set here in Gloucester. The Clam Investigative team has uncovered some juicy details about the production by purchasing scorpion bowls for a few of the crew at a local eating establishment. Here is what we discovered:

  • The reason it’s being filmed in Gloucester is because every time a crew would set up in the correct town residents would call a “suspicious van” in to Manchester Police.
  • Casey Affleck still makes less than the average MBTS resident.
  • The third act includes a heart-wrenching scene of Crosby’s running out of shrimp before Memorial Day Weekend.
  • Set management in Gloucester has proven challenging and sound engineers are already wondering how they are going to remove the constant shouting of “Mahkey Mahk has a biggah dick!” at the cast and crew from passerby.
  • Matt Damon will only eat pumpkin flavored munchkins on set, and Dunkins outlets on Cape Ann have been working overtime to make special off-season batches for him.
  • LA based crew has no idea how a rotary works, had to hire special drivers to guide them through.
  • The original plan of creating a computer animated rendering of Gloucester and adding the actors into the scenes in post production was scrapped when animators could not figure out how to get realistic-enough looking discarded lottery tickets to blow around in the simulated breeze.
  • True Gloucesterites will balk seeing the main character drive an undented Ford 250 with neither a plow mount nor trailer hitch.
  • Distress crew hired to give lower Main Street a “gritty realism” stumped. “Don’t mess with perfection,” one of them was overheard to say.
  • “See that guy? His brother used to bonk Gwyneth Paltrow!”
  • Several days of shooting wasted while cast and crew tried to locate a Starbucks.
  • Plot about man becoming the guardian of his brother’s son an evolution of original story of man becoming guardian of large pile of money.
  • They knew they would get shit on by seagulls, but not so many times a fucking day.
  • Damon was warned by the makers of The Perfect Storm that he’d never find a decent felafel. Did he listen? No, he did not.
  • Jar Jar Binks has shitty Boston accent.
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  1. THIS is realistically Laugh Out Loud stuff, JD!

    (Maybe a Pt. II about why they avoided Rockport…or would it be for all the same stuff?)

  2. But just think of all the money coming into the Glosta’ coffers..

  3. I’m wandering around Gloucester,looking for that suspicious van, trying to get hired as an extra. I keep stumbling upon my own van! WTF?

  4. Thanks for the laugh! Much appreciated. Saw the traffic back yesterday and though summa was hea early. But alas, it was the crew filming in the alley behind Crows Nest.

  5. Joanne Hillman

    Always enjoy your snarky wit!


    I sure wish it was being filmed in Manchester!!!

  7. Haha..good one! They were filming at Pratty’s just round the corner from my shop, Beauty Bar. Cant tell all the details but gave a few custom cuts to the location staff and got to see casey affleck film the bar fight…and GOT TO BE IN THE SHOT!

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