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The Brainrot Clamsplainer: Kid Slang for the AIM Generation

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Confession time: Your Clam has an Urban Dictionary tab open again. Not ironically. Not for a bit. We here at The Clam are middle-aged people who genuinely had to look up what “sigma” meant because a 12-year-old said it to us at Market Basket and we panicked and said “you too.”

This is the part of aging nobody warned us about. One day you are the youth, fluent in “da bomb” and “talk to the hand,” recording songs off the radio onto a cassette. The next day a child is calling you a word you have to research like it’s a term paper, and you are hunched over your phone while stuck at the Cut Bridge trying to figure out if you were just complimented or destroyed.

So we did the work. We read the definitions so you don’t have to. Yes, it is, indeed, cringe coming from us. But guess what? EVERYTHING is cringe coming from us now; that’s the deal we signed. But we refuse to be the parents nodding along with no idea what’s happening. We already do that at the doctor.

Here’s the thing that actually helped it click: most of this slang maps perfectly onto the North Shore if you think about it as geography instead of vocabulary. So that’s how we’re gonna teach it. You already know these places in your bones. Now you’ll know the words.

 

67 (say it “six seven,” never “sixty-seven“)

Let’s start with the big one, because your kid has said it 400 times this week. “67” was named Dictionary.com’s Word of the Year for 2025, and here is the beautiful part: it means nothing. On purpose. It came from a rap song, got welded to a tall basketball player (editor’s note: 6’7” isn’t particularly tall for a basketball player), and now kids just yell it, sometimes with a little up-and-down “eh, so-so” hand wobble. The whole joke is that it has no meaning. Grown adults have tried to define it and given up.

Local translation: 67 is Rockport. You ask “how was it?” and the honest answer is a hand wobble. Not good, not bad. It simply is. Fudge was involved. You saw Motif No. 1. Six seven.

One of Clammedia’s youth correspondents assures us this is the original 67 kid meme. Looks like a Rockporter to us.

 

Sigma

A “sigma” is the lone wolf. Supposedly above the whole alpha-and-beta pecking order, too self-sufficient to care about the hierarchy at all. It sounds cooler than it is. It’s mostly just “guy who eats lunch alone and has decided that’s a flex.”

Local translation: Essex is the original sigma. A town so self-contained that they have the most guns per capita across the entire Commonwealth. It’s a fact I heard once and won’t bother looking up but you have chat agents (see? We didn’t say Google it!)

Is Essex a Gigachad? Ask a Gen Alpha.

 

Rizz

Short for charisma. Your ability to charm someone, usually in a flirty way. “He’s got rizz” means he’s smooth. “No rizz” means he is not, and everyone watched it happen. The extension of this is that “rizzed up” is basically the term for flirting – using that charisma on a target (gender-neutral).

Local translation: rizz is the guy at the Gloucester House who has the bartender, the harbormaster, and your aunt all laughing within four minutes. Manchester thinks money is rizz. It is not. Money is money. Rizz is free and Gloucester has always had more of it.

 

Aura

Coolness, measured in points, like an invisible score following you around. Do something smooth, you gain aura. Trip on the sidewalk in front of the whole patio at Latitude 43, you lose aura. There’s a related version, “aura farming,” which is doing cool stuff specifically to rack up points.

Local translation: Manchester-by-the-Sea has enormous aura it did not personally earn. Inherited aura. Trust-fund aura. Gloucester farms every single aura point the hard way, at 4 a.m., in the rain, smelling like bait. Both have aura. Only one of them worked for it.

Evidence? Howard Blackburn.

 

Mid

Mediocre. Aggressively fine. Not bad enough to complain about, not good enough to mention. The most devastating thing a kid can call something, because it’s not an insult, it’s a shrug.

Local translation: we are not going to say which town is mid. We’re just going to say it has a lot of old houses, closes early, and everyone there seems content calling themselves part of Cape Ann, though the rest of us def do not. Draw your own conclusions. (It rhymes with “Ipswich.”)

 

Cooked

Done for. In deep trouble. Beyond saving. “Bro is cooked” means it’s over for him. Can also just mean exhausted, as in “I’m cooked,” which honestly is how most of us feel by Wednesday. We old people used to use “toast” to mean the same thing.

Local translation: trying to drive through downtown Gloucester during Fiesta. You made your choices. You are now cooked. Enjoy your view of the same three feet of Prospect Street for 40 minutes.

 

Delulu

Short for delusional, but affectionate about it. Believing something with zero evidence because it feels nice. “She’s so delulu” about a crush who has never texted back.

Local translation: Anyone who says “the traffic won’t be bad” after ignoring all the horribly worded beach parking signs (residents only excepted!) Delulu, all of you, and we love you.

 

Fanum Tax

This one has an actual origin worth knowing. A streamer named Fanum had a running bit where he’d swipe a bite of his friends’ food. So “fanum tax” now means taking a cut of somebody’s snack. The toll you pay in fries.

Local translation: if you go to the beach and leave your food unattended while you swim, chances are you’ll come back to find it gone. The culprit? Gulls. That’s our Fanum tax, bruh. 

 

Glazing

Excessive, over-the-top praise. Kissing up so hard it gets embarrassing to watch. “Stop glazing him” means you are laying it on way too thick.

Local translation: open “Gloucester Things” during any election. The comment section is 90 percent people glazing their candidate and 10 percent people who “used to sell cigarettes to Sefatia’s second cousin” reporting thirdhand rumors as fact. You already know this genre intimately.

 

Washed

This comes straight from sports, and it’s just short for “washed up” like many of us are. But it mainly refers to being past their prime and visibly so. Usually sudden.

Local translation: “The Mayor started out great but by his second term he was washed.”

Ohio

Used as shorthand for weird, cursed, or broadly wrong. “That’s so Ohio.” No offense to actual Ohio, which never did anything. It just became the internet’s punching bag for “off.”

Local translation: here’s the fun part. Every town on Cape Ann has an Ohio, and it’s always the next town over. To Manchester, everywhere else is Ohio. To Gloucester, Rockport is a little Ohio. To Rockport, honestly, they seem pretty at peace and probably think we’re all Ohio for being this stressed. Six seven.

That’s the starter pack. Enough to survive a car ride with a middle schooler and possibly identify when you’ve been insulted.

 

And look, before we get too smug about “kids these days” and their brainrot: we said “phat.” We said “grody to the max.” We wore JNCO jeans wide enough to smuggle a golden retriever (editor’s note: some of us never had JNCO jeans nor a golden retriever)  and we called things “the bomb” with total sincerity. Every generation invents dumb words that horrify their parents. That’s not the decline of civilization. That’s just civilization, doing the thing it always does, one nonsense syllable at a time.

 

So the next time a kid yells “six seven” at you across the Boulevard, don’t google it. Just wobble your hand and keep walking. You’ve got aura now, unc.

 

Clamdorsements 2025: General Election Time!

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MAYOR: 

TL;DR: The Clam endorses Paul Lundberg for Mayor. 

Greg did ok as Mayor, and we came out hard for him in 2023, but that middle finger during the teachers’ strike? Oy. It set him up for a possible loss against Jeff Worthley. We really don’t want to endorse someone who would flip off a constituent during a teachers’ strike, especially if the alternative could have been this guy. 

A few concrete reasons we are supporting Paul: when the East Veterans School was just a (very uncertain) dream, Paul stepped up to become Chair of the Yes for Gloucester Kids Committee. He could have just continued to sit on the Board of Addison Gilbert Hospital and serve on volunteer commissions doing things like consulting on bringing passenger rail lines to Western Massachuetts, but then he answered the call and came out swinging for Gloucester Public Schools after stepping down from the City Council. 

Paul also came out strong in favor of passing the state’s recommended 3A Multi-family Overlay District way before Greg did. Then, we ended up with a special election in April because Tracy O’Neil (see the Ward 1 section below) convinced 4,000 people to sign a petition and get it on the ballot, potentially undoing years’ worth of work on the part of the City Council, the Planning Board, and the Planning Department. FWIW, this special election cost the city almost $40K. Messaging from the Mayor’s office could have – and should have – been stronger in refuting the obfuscations, exaggerations, and outright lies Tracy and her ilk have spewed for years on end all in the name of keeping Cape Ann as white as possible. 

We get it, Greg, it’s a hot potato, but 60% of those Gloucester voters voted yes in April. If the Yes for Gloucester team had had more time and bandwidth, we bet the split would be more like 70-30 or 80-20. We’ve always known the silent majority here has been in favor of housing options and streamlining red tape even if the vocal minority puffs itself up and looks scary. You know what’s scarier? A mayor who can’t make a full-throated and consistent endorsement of a measure that could have lost us millions in grant money if it hadn’t passed. This penultimate endorsement in April was just tepid AF. 

Paul’s done the work of campaigning at the ground level. Gloucester answered, coming out strong for him on September 16 with a definitive 2,388 votes to Greg’s 1,608 and Jeff’s 1,124. A conversation for another day is, if there are over 20,000 registered voters in Gloucester, why did, like, 15,000 of you stay home? Don’t stay home on November 4, ok? Or you don’t get to complain about anything ever again. Not even on Gloucester Things. 

The bottom-feeding line: We don’t hate Greg. Not at all. We just think Paul will do a better, more level job, and we would like to spend the next couple of years making sweater vest jokes.

 

COUNCILOR-AT-LARGE: 

The Clam’s Slate:

Jason Grow (incumbent)

Tony Gross (incumbent)

Hannah Kimberley 

Barnaby Prendergast

Councilor-At-Large Incumbents: Tony Gross and Jason Grow, both solid and dependable voices, with Tony serving as an effective Council President and Jason being our progressive voice of reason. Vote them back in, folks. Just do it. 

Hannah Kimberley: Outside of teaching high school and writing books about other amazing women, Hannah has been more behind the scenes via her work with League of Women Voters (which we always confuse with other superhero leagues, frankly) and Gloucester’s Human Rights Commission. Gloucester would benefit from her perspective, humor, and courage. 

Barnaby Prendergast is stepping away from replying to Internet trolls and is stepping up to more officially squash trolls, for the benefit of the community, at Kyrouz. He’s also on Gloucester’s Clean City Commission which unfortunately doesn’t have a quorum right now, so it hasn’t met in some time. Barnaby’s Facebook profile says it best: “I’m not here to make promises that can’t be kept, but I will try my best to serve all of the people of Gloucester honestly and well.” Plus, he’s got legal training and has worked as a Gloucester fisherman. 

We like Shawn McQueeney and think he should get even more active in local stuff. His energy and perspective would be great on a Board, Commission, or Committee, and he’d do well in Ward 1 if Scott decides to step back. 

Patti-Ann Page: Remember how we linked to Don’t Boston My Cape Ann in Paragraph 2? Patti’s fingerprints are all over that. She also voted R in 2024. She voted R in 2024. Yes, we know we’re kinda partisan here at Clam HQ. But we’ll excuse an R vote in 2016. Not now.

EWWWWWW

She is not who you think she is. 

Just don’t vote for her, please and thank you. 

 

WARD CLAMDORSEMENTS

Speaking of Ward 1: Scott Memhard (incumbent) vs. Tracy O’Neil

Clamdorsement: Scott Memhard (duh)

Clam Nation, do we have to remind you of what Scott’s opponent Tracy O’Neil has done? Well, we don’t have the time or the energy to do it all because gestures at everything, so here’s a link reminding you this woman actually made it onto the City Council one time and we never want her back there. We did find a couple of O’Neil-isms from social media worth sharing, though. Tell your Ward 1 peeps: vote Memhard. 

Yup, she actually likes Ayn Rand. Disqualifying event right here.

Derp. We’re hoping for Shakira Law to be implemented because hips don’t lie. Tracy does, though.

Ward 2: Dylan Benson (incumbent) vs. Don Tgettis

This is Dylan’s second election cycle, and he’s shown himself to be passionate about representing Ward 2. We like Dylan and will gladly Clamdorse him again. 

Ward 3: Marjorie Grace (incumbent) vs. Joe “Monkey” Orlando

Clamdorsement: Marjorie Grace

We admit we came out hard against Marjorie when she ran in 2023, but she’s proven herself to be a thoughtful advocate who knows her neighborhoods inside and out. We need more of this leadership style in government up and down the ballot. Mea culpa. We were wrong then.

Wards 4 and 5: Frank Margiotta and Sean Nolan, both unopposed. These dudes are decent, kind, and active in the community. We’re lucky to have them representing several thousand of us.

 

SCHOOL COMMITTEE

Incumbents:

Kathy Clancy

Jeremy McKeen

Bill Melvin

Keith Mineo

Melissa Teixeira Prince

Laura Weissen

 

Challengers: 

Heather Dagle

Brianna Hodgkins

Andrea Liacos

Nas Tber

After last Fall, we here at Clammedia HQ are gobsmacked all of the SC incumbents are running again. Regardless of how you felt about how the 2024 teachers’ strike went down, we were nervous to think we’d be looking at no choices for the SC race because things got ROUGH. 

Four challengers have stepped up, making the SC race a whopping 10 candidates. We haven’t seen that many SC candidates in some time. Please don’t ask us how much time. We’re tired. 

Anyway, we think the incumbents have worked their butts off. The strike was hard on everyone, and the incumbents did their best. We don’t think angry mobs of parents and teachers should have come to School Committee members’ houses and stood outside screaming. That is not cool, bros. School Committee members have to learn gobs of information to do even the bare minimum required for that position. It pays, yes, but a monthly stipend not even half as much as the City Council gets. 

The four challengers have a lot of smarts and passion for our schools. Some are parents of GPS students and/or GHS graduates themselves. They have also been working their butts off. We are so fortunate to have such a huge pool of worthy candidates. 

We here at Clammedia HQ are pretty well divided on 7 of the 10. No one at The Clam is voting for Keith Mineo. He’s a bit too conservative for our taste. We don’t know enough about Brianna Hodgkins or Nas Tber, either. That doesn’t mean they don’t have a shot, though! 

Thank you for running, folks. Seriously. Our schools need dedicated stewards. No matter how things shake out, that’s what we are going to get. 

And we know we’ve said this before, but we’re really going to be serious about trying to be funny more often after the dust settles.

 

The Clam-splainer: 2025 Preliminary Edition

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Welcome, dear readers, to the Gloucester Clam’s no-nonsense, all-snark voter guide for our beloved mayoral preliminary. We promise to serve it up with a side of humor, because if we don’t laugh, we might just start throwing clams. We started working on this a couple of weeks ago but got caught up in public records – so sorry we’re posting at the last minute!

 

Greg Verga: The Incumbent (aka Greg Burger because letting AI handle city voicemails is hysterical)

Ah, Greg Verga. Where do we even start? Maybe with the infamous teacher strike gesture that was less “peace and love” and more “talk to the hand.” Greg’s got a bit of a habit of dialing and texting everyone like a teenager grounded with a flip phone these days with trash and recycling updates, but dude, read the room – we get it, we have been managing our waste for two months now so say less. Add in the last-minute scramble on private roads—because four years wasn’t quite enough runway—and you’ve got a mayor who’s now juggling more last-minute plans than a procrastinating college student. Overall, he’s fine enough but it’s clear that voters are shopping around this time as compared to the last two races so look for him to tout his accomplishments, but we gotta hear more on vision and get communications consistent on non-election years, too. We’ve liked Greg just fine over the last four years. Did he handle the teachers strike well? Not really. Did he help us stay out of the 3A weeds? Yes, he did, though more leadership would have helped. It was really the Yes For Gloucester team who pushed us over the finish line on that one. Has he been on top of the trash strike? Ehhh, maybe not so much – though he’s adapted after a couple of months. And our DPW workers are rockstars.

Jeff Worthley: Midnight Texter Extraordinaire

Next up, Jeff Worthley. If you ever wondered who’s burning the midnight oil sending texts, well, here’s your guy. He’s managed to turn a personal legal saga into a Gloucester soap opera, and we can’t help but chuckle at the irony: a guy who has struggled with his own mortgage now wants to balance the city’s $170 million budget. That’s especially funny considering he’s taken checks from donors without actually reporting to the state OCPF who’s giving what, and where that money is actually going, until recently. Perhaps there’s a reason he took so long to report his fundraising, but the silence is deafening. We have heard many stories that are credible enough to be even more alarmed at his actions, but his legion of FB fans applauding his every move is Sefatia-esque without any of the sass and all of the pandering instead. There isn’t a good thing in town that’s happened that he won’t take credit for, and when that’s pointed out, his fans are sure to attack anyone that isn’t drinking the Kool-Aid. If he didn’t have a porn lawyer turned first amendment watchdog ready to pounce, we think there would be a lot more scandalous news for voters to digest but here’s to journalism not being quite dead: the GDT has actually done some reporting on these claims in addition to everything else they have to do. At least it’s never boring with him around, but we do worry greatly about a JW mayorship and how batshit cray cray things would most assuredly be under his administration. 

Paul Lundberg: The Sweater Vest Sage

Finally, we’ve got Paul Lundberg, the guy who was basically drafted out of retirement like your favorite grandpa who suddenly becomes the town’s voice of reason. Picture Joe Biden’s sweater vest cousin, and you’ve got Paul. He’s the non-incumbent, non-elected official who’s here to give us all a dose of “let’s just be sensible, folks,” and maybe a cup of tea while we’re at it. He’s boring, he’s smart, and he’s a safe pick with very little controversy, even while serving as Council President alongside the Sefatia Administration, but perhaps that’s a bad thing in today’s never-ending-social-news-why-did-I-login-today-cycle as his biggest problem is answering, “who’s Paul Luxemburg?” and “hasn’t he ever done anything wrong?” But hey, he’s got hair (and pretty good hair, at that), so that’s something.

Two of these three will move on to the final election. We’re hoping it’s Lundberg and Verga, and a narrow majority of Team Clam are backing Lundberg – even though it’s good for our pageviews (too bad we never monetized it) we’d love a drama-free local government for a while so we can just snark about Fiesta, regret the loss of the Wendy’s Gloucester page (it was run by a Friend Of The Clam), and follow the national drama.. And we’re hoping that after this prelim we can forget the name Worthley forever.

Opinion: Jeff Worthley’s Issues Extend Beyond Catfishing Constituents

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City Councilor Jeff Worthley has made his name by portraying himself as an affable figure, transparent and available to “get things done” to his fans. He seems to be more popular with residents than he was during his first two mayoral runs and first city council experience. 

However, the Jeff behind closed doors, in his financial dealings, and in personal communications has shown himself a much more worrisome figure. One who, in our opinion, is not fit to be mayor when there are two other options. While we won’t tell you who to vote for, we do have some concerns about this option in particular.

Let’s take a look at what we know of from readily available public documents and on-the-record statements.

Finances

One of the most important jobs of a mayor is setting a city budget. It’s a big responsibility, and it relies on prudent decision-making skills. It’s critical that when we vote, we’re voting for someone we can trust who has experience making sound financial decisions in their personal or professional life. Gloucester faces some serious financial issues that are structural with no easy fixes. As we reported earlier this year, we’re pretty much a sensible mid-sized sedan away from the brink. We all know what it’s like to be facing financial issues. You could argue that everyone reading this has had struggles at times paying the bills, or even making required payments on a loan, a credit card, or something else we owe money for. Unfortunately, Jeff has a long list of public financial issues that are far beyond someone running into temporary money trouble, and are chronic and show utter disregard for creditors and taxpayers alike. 

Firstly, taxes. Jeff has had multiple tax liens on his home for unpaid MA income tax reported to the Essex County Registry of Deeds, which makes these available to the public. The liens add up to over $25,000 and are as follows:

  • On May 18, 2022 a total of $18,298.67 is owed for 2014, 2015, 2016, 2019 and 2020. 
  • On March 6, 2024, a total of $3374.16 is owed for 2021. 
  • On June 10, 2025, a total of $4,153.76 is owed for 2022 and 2023. 

While full payment status at this time is unknown, the amounts and multiple years show disregard for paying taxes to fund state and municipal services in a timely manner. This is one of the more difficult things to understand coming from someone who says he believes in the community, who has kids in our school system, and who takes taxpayer money for his work as city councilor. I’m sure most of us would find it somewhat understandable and forgive if any candidate for public office had a lien for a year they didn’t calculate correctly, found out they owed taxes, and needed time to pay them off. This is a different situation, and runs nearly an entire decade. It matters that a candidate pays taxes to the Commonwealth where they receive services. 

Jeff has also faced two foreclosures in 2021 and 2025. One of these foreclosure documents seems to somehow state he did not pay his mortgage for ten full years. This document is available on the Essex County Registry of Deeds and/or MA Court websites for anyone to read. Another document from 2021 shows him 6 months behind in payments. 

 

Lastly, public records show two small claims cases for unpaid debts owed to collections services, with several other small claims debt cases with Jeff Worthley as a defendant settled or dismissed before a judgement was issued. 

  • On 10/25/18, a judgement for $1,792.49 was issued against Jeff in favor of Portfolio Recovery Services. This appears to have been paid in 2021. 
  • On 8/26/2024, a judgement for $1879.21 was issued against Jeff in favor of Midland Credit Management after he defaulted on debt. A Capias warrant  was issued for his arrest as he did not appear in court in October of 2024. 
  • Jeff’s FINRA broker disclosures also mention, in addition to his taxes, a judgement of $8,826.17 on 7/2/2019
  • His broker disclosures also mention a civil judgement for unpaid child support order on 4/30/2019 .

 

Interpersonal

Finances aren’t the only concerns we have with Worthley as a candidate. There are issues with Jeff’s relationships with others that are unsettling.

Divorces and custody are messy situations all around. However, the publicly available civil documents regarding Jeff’s custody battle a few years after his 2nd divorce was final paint a worrisome picture. While we are not sharing all of it in respect for his kids, who are lovely people, it provides insight into Jeff’s personality and importantly puts on record to the world how he treats those in his world who he is at odds with. The highlights include the following text, taken directly from the judge’s ruling report in the public record (while removing some identifying information about his children and their school): 

  • The Guardian Ad Litem reported, “Mr. Worthley made serious attempts to manipulate me in order obtain a favorable outcome for himself in this evaluation – e.g. he asked to read my report before I submitted to the Court and he asked if he could pay me to testify on his behalf… Many times Mr. Worthley seriously distorted (and these distortions often verged on outright falsehoods) what I said to him.” 
  • The principal and teachers at the elementary school his children attended told the GAL that Father has tried to talk to them negatively about Mother and tries to involve them in the dramatics of this case. Ms. Morgan stated to the GAL, “He is always looking for us to find something wrong with mom. It gets very uncomfortable.”
  •  After asking Father about the children’s attendance issues, Father wrote the GAL an email accusing the school principal of lying about the children’s attendance records. 
  • The GAL credibly found Father as manipulative and that he questions the children repeatedly about Mother, coaches the children to say negative things about Mother, and disparages Mother to the children.
  • The GAL did not find Father to be a credible reporter and found that he did not know how to deal with the children’s problems in a constructive manner.
  • As found by the GAL, Father’s filing of the complaint for no harassment order (discussed hereafter), on almost eight year old son’s behalf, against his son’s best friend, was an unusual and concerning step for a parent to take on behalf of the child. In her twenty-three (23) years of juvenile experience, the GAL has never seen such a drastic response to conflict between two young children who are friends. 
  • Father is unable to effectively communicate with Mother regarding the children. Admittedly, he sends hundreds of emails and text messages to Mother. His communications often contains inflammatory and egregious allegations. Father berates Mother and sends messages to provoke Mother. Often times, to avoid conflict, Mother will not respond which causes Father to send additional messages. Father continues to file 51a reports against Mother and involve the local police alleging Mother is abusive and neglectful, yet no allegations have ever been supported. Father continues to insist Mother abuses the children and has even stated Mother is attempting to kill him. 
  • Father uses doctor’s appointments and meetings with the children’s educational providers as an opportunity to speak negatively about Mother. Father tries to involve others, including known mandated reporters. When individuals, such as the children’s teachers and principal, do not file 51a reports, or tell him not to speak negatively about Mother in front of them, Father has accused them of wrongdoing or inappropriate conduct. It is noted that Dr. Carbone and the Gloucester Mayor filed 51a reports against Mother and both were screened out.

This is not the behavior of someone I’d trust to be mayor.

There are other stories of odd personal behavior as well. With the recent GDT article, Jeff told the police as well as the paper that Janessa Williams was an intern that worked for him, and it was not him sending the messages to Kiley Davis through a fake profile. However, when Kiley came forward, a former longtime friend of Jeff’s, Vanessa McKenzie, asserted that Jeff and Vanessa had made the profile together. She corroborated this with a screenshot of an email of a Facebook message sent by “Janessa Williams” in 2022.

Vanessa’s statement was intriguing, to say the least. We here at The Clam specialize in digging, and dig we did. We were unable to find any Janessa Williams in Massachusetts using public records searches. At first, we thought Janessa Williams was British pop singer Tali Jackson because that’s what Google AI thought. But that seemed far too simple, and we dug in further using our human brains. That brings us to the conclusion that it is not actually Tali Jackson. Google AI just thinks that because a profile with her name uses it.

Definitely a real person.

In various places around the Internet, the photo goes by many names: Tali Jackson on SoundCloud, CDMixedBaby and Giselle on Twitter (we’re not calling it X), Karolina Protsenko on Pinterest, and Kelsey4447 on a booty call website that we will spare directing you to. TinEye, an image search website, first indexed the image in 2013. Whoever this poor girl is, her picture has been co-opted by all sorts of seedy backwater Internet sites. Don’t navigate your way to these sites without antiviral protection, kids. In fact, maybe just stay away from them altogether.  Suffice to say: We don’t know where “Janessa Williams” downloaded this picture, and we might not actually want to know.

Jeff attempted to explain away Vanessa’s intentions by telling another city councilor she owed him a whopping $50,000 and never paid him back. However, Vanessa denied owing such an amount and provided Cashapp and Venmo transactions that show Jeff routinely paid her small amounts “just because,” many during the same time period that his mortgage went unpaid for months and his unpaid child support obligations were reported to FINRA.

 

We’ll end with one more odd message, sent to a then-19 year old. While we aren’t claiming any of it is illegal – it’s still not acceptable and unbecoming of anyone representing Gloucester.

 

We’ve heard a lot of rumors of women who may have had similar experiences, but we are only sharing here what can actually be corroborated. We aren’t here to spread rumors, just verifiable truth. And while Jeff has rabid fans who claim anything negative about him is a smear, we believe every candidate for public office needs to take responsibility for their own actions and words when they ask for our votes.

In our opinion, Gloucester deserves a Mayor who can keep his or her own house in order to keep Gloucester in order and out of the news for some salacious scandal.

We want and deserve a Mayor we can trust, even a little bit. Based on the evidence, that is not what we’re seeing from Jeff Worthley. We hope that next week, you cast a vote for either of the other two candidates, based on your preference. 

Clamsplainer 2025: April 2025 Special Election, Because duh…

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Clamsplainer 2025: Gloucester’s April Special Election and why Tracy O’Neil will cost the City at least $30,000, but if you don’t vote Yes, millions more and it’ll come out of our pockets because do you think for one minute we can rely on the Fed to do anything now?

Editor’s Note: Greeting, Clam Nation. Josh here, retired politician (from elsewhere) and more or less Clam web administrator, bringing you our collective’s latest bit of analysis and snark. This was researched and assembled by our crew because Google Docs are a great way to collaborate. Anyhow, as the token non-Gloucester guy here I get to collect it all, edit slightly, and give you that Clamalysis you’ve all been waiting for.

So there’s a “special election” right now (some of you are already voting early, good for you!) about one thing: Should the plan for modestly increasing “by-right” expansion of multifamily homes in the areas close to MBTA stations that was passed unanimously by the City Council and approved by the Mayor be approved by the voters?

And you’re probably asking “WTF is the point here?” 

Okay, flashback time: In January 2021, the Baker administration and the Legislature (you know, that bastion of socialist tyranny also known as bipartisan government) passed a law called the MBTA Communities Act. It’s intended to make a dent in the chronic housing shortage we have in Massachusetts by relaxing standards for multifamily housing in cities and towns that are in or connected to mass transit. It passed, by the way, unanimously in the State Senate and 143-4 in the House. Not exactly an unpopular law. It’s aimed at helping Massachusetts crawl out of its “nobody can afford to live here” housing crisis by gently nudging 177 cities and towns with transit access—like Gloucester—to allow some multifamily housing near train stations. (our buses don’t count: the CATA system isn’t part of the MBTA). There are some oddities to the map as a result – Only Bourne is included on Cape Cod, a few towns in the Route 2 corridor aren’t part of it, and Avon is in a little donut hole on the South Shore, the only town left out. Boston is a special case within zoning and related laws, so it doesn’t apply to them (they have much more open standards already).

And, simply, the law says that we must establish “at least 1 district of reasonable size in which multi-family housing is permitted as of right.” When possible, it must be within half a mile of a public transit terminal (like a commuter rail station or ferry dock).

But how did we get here? Enter: Tracy O’Neil, conspiracy theorist-in-chief and former City Councilor, who spent her term introducing the kind of laws that make InfoWars look moderate. She failed, ran for Mayor, got crushed, and now is spending her time whipping up hatred of government as best she can. She and her merry band of “Just Asking Questions” folks managed to collect enough signatures to force this perfectly rational zoning plan onto the ballot. Because why trust expert planners when you’ve got vibes and a Facebook group?

Speaking of vibes, here’s Tracy’s latest reason why we should vote No: 

The Oracle of Fish Speaketh

 

In an April 14 Gloucester Times article, the main reason we’re all here insists she can foresee the “unintended consequences” of the implementation of this law. Thanks, Tracy, what a relief to have you! Screw all the planning experts, let’s stick with the lady who can totally see what’s coming, everyone, because reasons. If this thing doesn’t pass, Tracy, I am forwarding you my real estate tax bills FOREVER. 

So what happens after this election? Nothing. No, seriously: nothing. Life goes on. People in multifamily zones can finally expand their homes without jumping through flaming hoops at the Zoning Board of Appeals. Zoning sanity is preserved. State compliance is maintained. We don’t lose funding. We don’t pay more in interest. No frogs fall from the sky. The end.

3A compliance is, whether or not we like it, required. The state passed it (under the Baker administration), the courts have upheld it (which hasn’t prevented more lawsuits that’ll waste money and fail), and here in the reality-based world we understand that it’s not a sacrifice to handle it.  Frankly, most communities that have implemented it have done so in a way that minimizes the additional housing possible. Gloucester included.

 

What Happens If We Say No? Then we go on a three-month, tax-funded quest to re-pass basically the exact same plan, but with a slightly different ribbon on top so it’s legally distinct. If we fail? The state slaps the zoning on us anyway, and we lose access to all kinds of state money. Spoiler alert: The money doesn’t disappear—it just goes to other towns that aren’t throwing zoning tantrums.

Oh, and that sweet discounted interest rate Gloucester scored on a wastewater treatment loan? Gone. Looking to the future, we might even lose our “Housing Choice” designation if we’re still out of compliance in 2026. Then, we’d be on the hook for about $13 million in extra interest over the life of the loan. (But hey, at least we stuck it to… someone?)

One of the turds being flung at the wall by Tracy and the Howler Monkeys (that would be a great name for a bad thrash metal band, by the way) is that the state doesn’t have the right to dictate what communities do. Except that’s completely incorrect.

Communities exist because the state government allows it. Now realistically, nobody’s going to dissolve Gloucester over 3A, but there’s a hierarchy to law and what answers to what – and more importantly there’s a way to resolve those conflicts when they happen. A city or town can pass most any laws they want, but if they want to exceed the parameters set by the state (for instance, regulating condo conversions, rents, or liquor licenses above the state-established cap) they must get the approval of the state government. It’s called a “home rule petition” and a lot of local changes do happen that way. Outside of that, all local laws are subordinate to the state. If you have something on your books in conflict with the state, the state wins and your law is null and void.

For that matter, there’s many places in which the state in turn yields to the federal government (note: this is considered a problem right now by a majority of MA voters who didn’t vote for Herr Trump). Massachusetts does not enforce federal laws, they enforce state laws. We’re unfortunately seeing this right now in the immigration arena – being hopelessly fucked up by Congress, immigration policy has mainly been set by executive orders for the last five or so administrations. And when power shifts, policy is reversed and federal authorities follow that new policy.

Just like federal immigration law doesn’t mean Massachusetts cops go rounding up undocumented immigrants, state law doesn’t mean the Gloucester ZBA can pretend 3A doesn’t exist. Law. Hierarchy. Structure. That’s how it works.

“Thanks, The Clam!” you say. “That’s a perfectly rational explanation, although it’s certainly a lot of words!” 

Well, if you don’t like words or voting Yes or, like, anything, the “Don’t Boston My Cape Ann” Facebook page recently posted what they thought about some Yes for Gloucester supporters by modifying their election mailer. 

Such sophistication.

We’re 17% sure Kathryn Goodick is responsible for these doodles. What an articulate and compelling argument. At least Eileen and Melissa escaped the might of the pen. Whew.

In Conclusion

So, Clam Nation, what we’re saying is: Vote YES for Gloucester, or this $30,000 Special Election is going to cost the City – YOU – untold millions of dollars. The money comes from somewhere, kids, and that somewhere is the taxpayers’ pockets. Those are the foreseen consequences.