Crap guys, sorry I’m like two weeks late on this show. I know you’re dying, DYING for me to recap this show. Anyway, let me get to the highlights so you save 44 minutes of your day. Or you can watch it along with me at home, and turn it into a drinking game like I do. Funsies! Anyway this episode starts off with the promise of STORM DRAMA ahead! And in the opening few minutes, every boat says they need a fish. My left eye twitches involuntarily, but I continue watching.
The first boat to catch a fish is the Pinwheel, who again, say that they “need this one.” This cannot be anything but an elaborate troll, an attempt to make my brain explode. It almost works.
So anyway I had to google “googan” and its definition came up on Urban Dictionary and I was like “well here we go” but it turns out it doesn’t involve some kind of unmentionable term, it’s just a fishing insult, like “n00b of the sea.” I’m somehow both impressed and disappointed. They catch their fish. Go stonerboat!
They switch over to the Hot Tuna and it suddenly looks like the end of days up there.
And in one of the smarter things I’ve seen on this TV show to date, TJ and the Hot Tuna book it the fuck out of there, because they realize their lives are not worth a fish. This is a smart and adult thing to do, especially when smaller people look up to you do make rational decisions. I’m not even being snarky here. I want to see more of this.
I don’t see more of this, because Tyler from the Pinwheel decides that weather will never bring him down, for he is The Most Competitive! He talks about how they have to stay out no matter what even though it’s gross out, so they can get a leg up on everyone else. I feel like this has ended badly before at some point in our history and perhaps we should all be cautious and learn from others’ mistakes, but then again, I have no idea how fishing works anyway.
The Tuna.com gets a fish, and continues fishing. Over on the Kelly Ann, Paul Hebert says, “Hail Mary, full of tuna” and this may or may not be successful. Oh, it is successful. Well, there we go.
They originally have two fish at the same time, but end up only keeping one. I have to give credit that Paul Hebert is actually a pretty good reality show character, what with the laughter. They decide to stay in because of the storm. Again, smart.
Over on the Hard Merchandise, they are attempting to catch a fish that is “a bitch” which, I mean, it’s trying to remain alive so I kind of give it a little slack there. It fails to remain alive, and Dave calls it “a cow, no matter which way you slice it.” This is the best line I may have heard ever.
The episode ends with a bunch of fish, and some splashing, and I forgot to even turn this into a drinking game.
“We need this fish” count: 7
Fish Caught: 6
Men Splashed: 4
This “guest blogger” needs a full position on this blog. That was some spectacular writing!! Keen observations, my friend