Month: October 2014

KT’s Wicked Tuna Recap: North vs South, Episode 1

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Aw jeez guys let’s pretend I missed the seafaring antics of our favorite Gloucester celebrities in the Wicked Tuna crew while waiting for North vs South to get to Hulu. If you’re a new follower to the blog, I do a recap of Wicked Tuna usually while drinking, and by the end of it I am usually yelling at my TV.

So here’s the premise: pretty much everyone but Dave Carraro’s Tuna.com (who made all the dollars) still needs cash, so they all go down to the Outer Banks to extend their fishing season. Look, we’ve got new boats! And there’s some perceived drama between the Gloucester fleet and the natives!

We start off with a boat full of Southerners with boats like the “Fishin’ Frenzy” saying stuff like “we’re jacked up and we’re goin’ fishin!” and “God willin’, we’ll put a fish on this deck!” Oh my god, this is going to be a long fucking season.

HOLD MY BEER AND WATCH THIS, Y'ALL!

HOLD MY BEER AND WATCH THIS, Y’ALL!

The storyline starts off with some unintelligible conversation, and then the guy with the face up there starts LITERALLY SHOOTING THE FUCKING WATER. WITH A GUN. A CAMOUFLAGE GUN. This guy was like “Yes, National Geographic, I will most definitely appear on your reality show! But, within the first minutes of filming, you must let me shoot at the water.” I have a headache, I cannot deal with why this is happening.

TAKE THAT, OCEAN THAT PROVIDES MY LIVING.

TAKE THAT, OCEAN THAT PROVIDES MY LIVING.

 

Over on another boat, one of the captains is literally praying over the CB radio. I take a deep breath and finish my beer.

Wait, GUYS. GUYS. There’s a fishing spot down there called… wait for it…

tunahole

THE JOKES WRITE THEMSELVES.

After some more horrifically boring introductions of boats I could give two shits about, the Hot Tuna appears, and all the boaters are just STUNNED. “Why’s he here?” I don’t know, did you ask the name of the show you are appearing on? Maybe the “Wicked Tuna” would have given it away? Did you notice there was a camera guy on your boat? I mean seriously, everyone is wearing camouflage so you literally may not have noticed.

Right behind him is the Haahd Merchandise. Dave isn’t smoking! Maybe he quit! He probably did not.

So it’s day one, and the Hot Tuna is the first to catch a fish, and I spend an interminable amount of time (that I’ll never get back, mind you) watching them try to spear this thing in its face. Next up is CamoBoat, who get two fish at once, and then explain to the camera for the next few minutes how getting two fish at once works.

Finally, GodBoat literally prays for fish, which I mean, I guess whatever floats your boat. I’m an atheist, so I would choose a more pragmatic plan of attack, but I guess praying is a pretty good alternate strategy. I guess it works, and they swear a lot, catch the fish, and then harpoon it violently. And then they drink moonshine.

I am serious.

All the boats drop their catches off, and TJ from the Hot Tuna exclaims, “were getting right back on the meat!” Meaning they’re going back to work immediately. I giggled, because I’m twelve.

Another Hard Merchandise scene, and Dave isn’t smoking yet. I’m getting a little concerned. They get a bite, and start immediately yelling “IT’S A TUNA! A TUNA!” Yes. It’s a tuna. You are a fisherman. This shouldn’t surprise you into screaming. Calm down, gosh.

Over on another boat, someone yells “WE NEED THIS FISH!” and I’m honestly surprised it’s taken 35 minutes to get to that line. I drink.

Finally, the episode ends, and I can get back to my regular life. Phew.

 

No Snark Sunday Cancelled Because Dear God We’re Still 3D Printing at O’Maley!

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Yesterday we made a little plastic fish. This is kind of a big deal. We took a box of parts that started like this on Friday at 5.

Is it working yet?

Is it working yet?

To 8:00 pm on Sunday where we had a working machine that prints little plastic fish.

We can't believe it's working

We can’t believe it’s working

We’re  going back today to help with some of the other machines, but ours totes working and is printing. It took about 15 hours, some futzing, rewiring a couple of crossed connections and about sixty five of those tiny little cans of Mountain Dew. We left last night elated and spent. Could have been the Mountain Dew.

Here is a big item of note: This is one of the best organized functions I’ve attended. Organizing any gathering is hard but this makes putting together a wedding banquet seem trivial. Unless your guests are cyborgs from the future, they won’t need sets of tools, power, lighting and constant troubleshooting. Actually, I’ve been to weddings that needed constant troubleshooting, but that is a separate matter.

David Brown and Ann Donnelly were the point people who should accrue all the props, near all of them “mad.” Imagine sending out a note on the Internet that said: “Hey guys, we need about sixty people to get together all at the same time and make a machine none of you have ever seen before. How about flying waffle irons?”  Would that be likely to succeed? Well it worked. These people are amazing.

A mighty Clam Goat Scream of Huzzah!

Also there was chowder, BLTs, burgers, espresso and bratwurst. But seriously, we were pushing plates of food aside to get back to adjusting the stepper motors. There was no time for base matters such a sustenance.

It should also be loudly transmitted to all within hearing distance that an interstate coachfull of teachers and administrators and support staff were there on Friday and all day yesterday. To those of you who complain public school employees are just “showing up and drawing a paycheck”, I shall print out a bag of theromoplastic eggs you can go suck.

I’m not going to mention them all because I’ll miss some, but there were a pile of science teachers building machines, I saw the IT lead throwing down a machine with precision and skill, I saw school and district administrators there, an English teacher was there on Friday and ALL DAMN DAY on Saturday. No one is getting paid more for this. They are doing this because they are passionate about their jobs and care about our kids.

Also Maggie and Joe Rosa. Is there anything awesome they are not a part of? Seriously. I’m just going to start following those guys around because they are everywhere anything good is happening. If cancer gets cured, they’ll be in the room. Trust me.

There are a lot of people who need shoutouts, but I’m throwing one more: Joel Favazza and his crew. Well done, guys. He’s another person I’m increasingly noticing in places where the good stuff is going down.

But my overall point is building one of these machines takes about 14 hours. And volunteers are there, donating their time and expertise. We could have used the same amount of money to buy 1/3 as many pre-assembled machines (that I hear don’t actually work as well) but instead we’re getting much, much more for the donated money.

This is how Gloucester works, people.

I have to get some food into my son who’s been begging me to take him over so he can check it out (he’s actually 3D printed before at his cousin’s house. Our family is kinda nerdy) and then I’m heading back over. Stevens, KT and I will be back on the ground helping to get as many of these babies online as we can and we’ll try and keep posting throughout the day.

If you have a sec (Sunday), drop by and check it out. We’re making a lot more there than plastic fish.

Also, there are Yoda heads.