Because of our intense journalism and elite hacking skills, the Gloucester Clam has echolocated all the data for everyone in 01930’s google searches for the past 12 months. We hemmed and hawed over our responsibility as journalists to publish or keep private these results. However, we realized the sociological exploration, as well as our community’s clearly necessary deep moment of introspection, outweighed the privacy concerns.
Here are the results.
“How do mermaids fuck?” – 1,209 searches, 400 from Rocky Neck alone.
“Fishing hook stuck in leg leave in or take out” – 510 searches, mostly offshore.
“Ebola coming to Gloucester” – 400 searches, all by idiots.
“When the fuck is Anmol expanding to Gloucester?” – 300 searches, mostly from the Brits and Marty DelV.
“What determines residency? Please don’t say an actual house where I sleep.” – 1 result, ward 3.
“When is next season of Wicked Tuna” – 3 searches.
“Is Fuller School’s re-use as a swing space a mathematically sound proposition?”- 1 search, 0 results.
Drone Recovery Tree Island Crossbow – 1 search, East Gloucester
“How to get marine epoxy out of pubic hair” – 6 searches, Magnolia.
“I think aliens and goverment workers have abducted me, fuck the police!” – 1 search.
“Cod stocks are coming back, right? Right? RIGHT?” – 3,520 searches.
Laughing hard this morning trying to not wake up my roommate. These are excellent and very true hahahahaa